Let me just say thank you to the Celtics, Cavaliers and Pistons. Without you actually playing basketball, the Eastern Conference would be completely devoid of any real teams. The Hawks might make the playoffs this year, and having gone to several Atlanta home games, I know they don’t deserve it.

The Harlem Globetrotters could make the playoffs in the East. I mean if they played NBA teams. With their current record they would be the one seed, but they play the same team every game. If they played NBA teams, and didn’t put confetti in a water bucket and fake out the crowd in the second half, they might win enough games to see post-season action. It really is a basketball wasteland out East.

The Heat, Bobcats and Knicks should be treated like English soccer teams. Whoever finishes last this year has to play next season in the D-league. Relegation works across the pond, so why can’t it work here. Baseball should do the same thing, but that is another blog.

David Stern should do something. He needs to step up and tell the Knicks that if they finish in the lottery, they will be disbanded and have to start over. Or, at least, he will force Isiah Thomas to be fired. Either way, it is a win-win for Knicks fans. Thomas will coach harder and the players will play harder (read: play), or they get all new players, except David Lee and Nate Robinson, who Knick fans love.

The Heat should be ashamed of themselves. Why did they build around a core of aging players and guys that nobody wanted (Ricky Davis, J Williams). You have D-Wade! Give him a three point shooter, a young big man and a decent small forward and you have the East’s version of the Lakers. Marion will help. If they get Michael Beasely, that will help too. If Pat Riley remembers that basketball is a sport that is meant to be played while running, that will help too. Bring Showtime to Miami, Pat.

I’m giving the Bobcats a pass for one more year because they are new. Please draft a player that can play next year. Morrison and Okafor were both average to below average draft picks. If the ‘Cats could swing Rose from MemphisU that would help. 

If you have any more suggestions for the worst conference in the history of American team sports (excluding WAC football), make a comment.

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Who is this team? Some games they look like a force with D.Howard being the next Moses Malone. Other games they look like they are just a mediocre Eastern Conference team. Today they beat the Celtics on an improbable last-second three, hit by Hedo Turkoglu — who played like an awesome Tony Kukoc — and looked unstoppable. I wonder how long this will last.

This is one of the streakiest teams in the league, so I will wait and see before I call them a contender, but if they can play like they did today in the playoffs, this team will be scary. Currently, I don’t see them beating the C’s in a seven game series. They could, however, beat any other Eastern conference team other than possibly Detroit.

If Howard continues to play like a man possessed, the Magic will be just that. Look for at least a second-round playoff series with them in it. If they catch the Pistons sleeping, look for them to face the Celtics in the Eastern conference finals. That is, however, if the Magic don’t fall apart in front of us, which I think is also a possibility, given their youth.